I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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