Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
