I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
