somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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