Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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