so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
