what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
tell me about the eggs
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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