The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
