We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
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