Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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