I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
