So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
