Say something about gay babies.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
You're a waste of cheezeits
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Holy sore nipples Batman
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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