Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
