is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
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