Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
My bed smells like the plague
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
