The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
