OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
