I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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