Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
