You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
That reminds me...we need to get swords
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
