I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
