Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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