Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
