i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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