dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize