I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
