My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
