I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
