he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
