You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
