I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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