My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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