I'll bet she douches with gravy.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Randomize
