that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
