So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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