The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize