My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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