I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
