k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
