You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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