Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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