you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I need a beard to bite.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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