When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
