so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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