so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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