I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Randomize
