you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Randomize
