I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
