Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
NoShamevember. You game?
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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