I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
