can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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