Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
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