I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Let the clothes fall where they may.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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