She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
