You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Randomize
