Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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