She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
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