Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
