With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
