im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
