My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
