Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
