I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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