He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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