Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
