Do vagina's smell?
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
drinking out of a sandbucket again
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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